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package Acme::AliG; |
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28669
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use strict; |
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use warnings; |
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use Exporter qw(import); |
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2826
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our @EXPORT = qw(alig); |
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our $VERSION = '0.0102'; # VERSION |
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my %words = ( |
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"absent" => "not in da house", |
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"absolutely" => "for real", |
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"actual" => "hactual", |
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"agent" => "asian", |
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"alright" => "aight", |
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"am" => "is", |
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"an" => "a", |
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"anal" => "batty", |
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"angry" => "menstural", |
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"animal" => "aminal", |
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"annoying" => "pissin", |
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"anus" => "batty", |
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"apartment" => "turf", |
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"are" => "is", |
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"argument" => "ruk", |
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"arguments" => "ruks", |
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"arse" => "batty", |
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"arse" => "exit", |
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"arsehole" => "batty hole", |
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"ass" => "batty", |
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"asses" => "batties", |
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"asshole" => "batty hole", |
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"attractive" => "fit", |
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"austria" => "Newgoslavia", |
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"awful" => "mingin", |
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"babe" => "fit bitch", |
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"baby" => "bitch", |
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"bad" => "wicked", |
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"ballix" => "balls", |
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"balls" => "biggies", |
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"balls" => "mr biggies", |
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"bang" => "bone", |
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"banged" => "boned", |
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"barn" => "farm", |
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"bastard" => "bastid", |
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"bbc" => "telly", |
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"beast" => "mr biggy", |
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"beautiful" => "wicked", |
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"because" => "coz", |
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"bedsit" => "turf", |
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"been" => "bin", |
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"bent" => "batty", |
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"best" => "fittest", |
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"best" => "wickedest", |
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"bestfriend" => "main man", |
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"bestfriend" => "main man", |
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"big" => "massiv", |
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"billion" => "quillion", |
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"bird" => "bitch", |
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"bird" => "bitch", |
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"birds" => "bitches", |
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"bisexual" => "trisexual", |
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"bisexual" => "trisexual", |
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"bizarre" => "batty", |
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"blacks" => "bruvers", |
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"bloke" => "geezer", |
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"blonde" => "fit", |
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"blow" => "erbal remedy", |
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"bollox" => "balls", |
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"boob" => "babylon", |
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"bored" => "chilled", |
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"borrow" => "steal", |
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"boss" => "main man", |
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"bottom" => "batty", |
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"boyfriend" => "main man", |
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"boys" => "bruvers", |
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"boys" => "main men", |
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"break" => "chill", |
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"breast" => "babylon", |
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"brill" => "wicked", |
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"brilliant" => "wicked", |
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"brother" => "bruver", |
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"browse" => "check", |
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"bugger" => "bum", |
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"bum" => "batty", |
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"bumfuck" => "bum", |
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"bumhole" => "batty hole", |
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"bunch" => "crew", |
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"butt" => "batty", |
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"butt" => "batty", |
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"butthole" => "batty hole", |
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"buy" => "purchase", |
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"bye" => "bo", |
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"cane" => "erbal remedy", |
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"cannabis" => "erbal remedy", |
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"cap" => "tommy", |
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"car" => "auto", |
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"cat" => "aminal", |
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"catholic" => "muslim", |
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"catholics" => "muslims", |
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"center" => "house", |
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"centre" => "house", |
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"certainly" => "aye", |
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"cheese" => "erbal remedy", |
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"chick" => "bitch", |
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"chicken" => "chikun", |
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"chilled" => "ambient", |
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"chum" => "main man", |
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"chums" => "boys", |
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"cigarette" => "fag", |
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"city" => "turf", |
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"clever" => "brainiest", |
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"click" => "let it rip", |
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"clit" => "love button", |
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"clitoris" => "love button", |
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"clockwork" => "chocolate", |
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"clothes" => "threads", |
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"club" => "cukabilly", |
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"coat" => "tommy hilfinger", |
120
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"cocaine" => "erbal remedy", |
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"cock" => "dong", |
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"coins" => "coppers", |
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"coke" => "craic", |
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"colleage" => "main man", |
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"colleages" => "boys", |
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"college" => "scool", |
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"commies" => "nazies", |
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"commy" => "nazy", |
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"company" => "crew", |
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"compliment" => "respect", |
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"compliments" => "respects", |
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"computer" => "pooter", |
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"condom" => "rubber", |
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"conservative" => "constervative", |
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"constabulary" => "constalubury", |
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"cool" => "wicked", |
137
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"coolest" => "fittest", |
138
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"coppers" => "pigs", |
139
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"cops" => "constalubury", |
140
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"country" => "turf", |
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"cow" => "bitch", |
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"coworker" => "main man", |
143
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"coworkers" => "boys", |
144
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"craic" => "crack", |
145
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"crap" => "mingin", |
146
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"crapper" => "bog", |
147
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"cunning" => "brainiest", |
148
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"cunt" => "punanni", |
149
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"curse" => "say a swear word", |
150
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"cursed" => "sed swear words", |
151
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"curses" => "sez swear words", |
152
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"cursing" => "saying swear words", |
153
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"cute" => "fit", |
154
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"dad" => "old geezer", |
155
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"darlin" => "bitch", |
156
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"darling" => "bitch", |
157
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"dead" => "stiff", |
158
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"definitely" => "for real", |
159
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"depressed" => "down", |
160
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"dick" => "dong", |
161
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"dickhead" => "chief", |
162
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"dinner" => "grub", |
163
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"dinnertime" => "grubtime", |
164
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"dirty" => "mingin", |
165
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"discover" => "check", |
166
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"discrimination" => "racalist", |
167
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"dislike" => "don't dig", |
168
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"dj" => "selecta", |
169
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"document" => "bit of paper", |
170
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"dodgy" => "batty", |
171
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"dog" => "aminal", |
172
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"dong" => "knob", |
173
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"dope" => "erbal remedy", |
174
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"dozen" => "quillion", |
175
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"draw" => "erbal remedy", |
176
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"drug" => "erbal remedy", |
177
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"drugs" => "erbal remedies", |
178
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"drunk" => "a little bit ratted", |
179
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"dude" => "man", |
180
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"dumass" => "chief", |
181
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"dyke" => "feminist", |
182
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"employee" => "main man", |
183
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"enemies" => "emenies", |
184
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"enemy" => "emeny", |
185
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"enjoy" => "chill", |
186
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"enjoy" => "dig", |
187
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"enormous" => "maximum", |
188
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"enter" => "let it rip", |
189
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"erection" => "bone", |
190
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"especially" => "for real", |
191
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"everybody" => "me crew", |
192
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"exact" => "pacific", |
193
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"exactly" => "pacifically", |
194
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"examine" => "check", |
195
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"excellent" => "wicked", |
196
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"exceptional" => "fore real", |
197
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"exhausted" => "wrecked", |
198
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"explore" => "check", |
199
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"fag" => "batty boy", |
200
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"faggot" => "batty boy", |
201
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"faggott" => "batty boy", |
202
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"family" => "crew", |
203
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"fancy" => "dig", |
204
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"fanny" => "flange", |
205
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"fantastic" => "wicked", |
206
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"fart" => "trumpet", |
207
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"farts" => "trumpets", |
208
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"fat" => "large", |
209
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"father" => "old geezer", |
210
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"favorite" => "bestest", |
211
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"favour" => "dig", |
212
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"favourite" => "bestest", |
213
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"feet" => "feets", |
214
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"female" => "bitch", |
215
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"females" => "bitches", |
216
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"fenian" => "muslim", |
217
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"fight" => "ruk", |
218
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"fights" => "ruks", |
219
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"filthy" => "mingin", |
220
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"find" => "check", |
221
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"fine" => "wicked", |
222
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"finest" => "fittest", |
223
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|
|
|
"flat" => "turf", |
224
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"folk" => "geezers", |
225
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"food" => "grub", |
226
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"fool" => "batty boy", |
227
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"foot" => "foots", |
228
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"fox" => "lady", |
229
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"freak" => "bitch", |
230
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"friend" => "main man", |
231
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"friends" => "boys", |
232
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"fuck" => "ride the punanni", |
233
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"fucking" => "riding the punanni", |
234
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"fucking" => "well", |
235
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"full" => "maximum", |
236
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"fun" => "wicked", |
237
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"funniest" => "wickedist", |
238
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"funny" => "wicked", |
239
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gaelic" => "gay lick", |
240
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gailic" => "gay lick", |
241
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gang" => "crew", |
242
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"ganja" => "erbal remedy", |
243
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gaol" => "inside", |
244
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gape" => "check", |
245
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gay" => "batty boy", |
246
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gays" => "batty boys", |
247
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gaze" => "check", |
248
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gear" => "erbal remedy", |
249
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gift" => "pressie", |
250
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gigantic" => "massiv", |
251
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"girl" => "bitch", |
252
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"girlfriend" => "bitch", |
253
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"girls" => "bitches", |
254
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"give" => "borrow", |
255
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"glance" => "check", |
256
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"glasses" => "yellow sunglasses", |
257
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"god" => "Jackie Chan", |
258
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"good" => "wicked", |
259
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"goodbye" => "bo", |
260
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"good-bye" => "bo", |
261
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"goodlooking" => "fit", |
262
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"goods" => "goods", |
263
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gorgeous" => "fit", |
264
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"gran" => "nan", |
265
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"grandmother" => "nan", |
266
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"granny" => "nan", |
267
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"grass" => "erbal remedy", |
268
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"great" => "wicked", |
269
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"greece" => "Newgoslavia", |
270
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"greeting" => "hear me now", |
271
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"greetings" => "hear me now", |
272
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"groovy" => "wicked", |
273
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"guy" => "boy", |
274
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"guy" => "geezer", |
275
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hairy" => "mingin", |
276
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"handsome" => "wicked", |
277
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"happy" => "chilled", |
278
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hash" => "erbal remedy", |
279
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hashish" => "erbal remedy", |
280
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hassle" => "aggro", |
281
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hate" => "don't dig", |
282
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hated" => "rank", |
283
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hello" => "allo", |
284
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"here" => "ere", |
285
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"here" => "in da house", |
286
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"heroin" => "gear", |
287
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hi" => "allo", |
288
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hiphop" => "speed garage", |
289
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"his" => "is", |
290
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hiya" => "allo", |
291
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hole" => "batty", |
292
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"home" => "turf", |
293
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"home" => "westside", |
294
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"homosapien" => "homosexual", |
295
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"homosexual" => "homosapien", |
296
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"homosexuals" => "homosapiens", |
297
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"honey" => "bitch", |
298
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"honker" => "babylon", |
299
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hooker" => "ho", |
300
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hooter" => "babylon", |
301
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"horrible" => "mingin", |
302
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"horse" => "aminal", |
303
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hospital" => "hostipal", |
304
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hot" => "spunky", |
305
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hows" => "how is", |
306
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"how's" => "how is", |
307
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"huge" => "massiv", |
308
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"humped" => "boned", |
309
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"humps" => "bones", |
310
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hundred" => "quillion", |
311
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hungary" => "Newgoslavia", |
312
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hunt" => "check", |
313
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hurt" => "is wrecked", |
314
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i" => "me", |
315
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"idiot" => "chief", |
316
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"im" => "i is", |
317
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i'm" => "me is", |
318
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"in" => "on", |
319
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"indie" => "speed garage", |
320
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"individual" => "main man", |
321
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"inspect" => "check", |
322
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"inspect" => "check", |
323
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"insult" => "dis", |
324
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"insulted" => "dissed", |
325
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"insulting" => "dissing", |
326
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"insults" => "disses", |
327
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"intelligent" => "brainiest", |
328
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"investigate" => "check", |
329
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"irish" => "sound", |
330
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"is" => "is", |
331
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"italy" => "Newgoslavia", |
332
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"jail" => "inside", |
333
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"jazz" => "speed garage", |
334
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"jeep" => "auto", |
335
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"jesus" => "Jackie Chan", |
336
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"joint" => "spliff", |
337
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"jump" => "hop", |
338
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"jumped" => "hopped", |
339
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"keen" => "wicked", |
340
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"king" => "main man", |
341
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"knob" => "dong", |
342
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lad" => "main man", |
343
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"ladies" => "bitches", |
344
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lady" => "bitch", |
345
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"land" => "turf", |
346
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"langer" => "dong", |
347
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"language" => "lingo", |
348
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"large" => "massiv", |
349
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lav" => "bog", |
350
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lavatory" => "bog", |
351
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"law" => "pigs", |
352
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lend" => "borrow", |
353
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lesbian" => "feminist", |
354
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lesbianism" => "feminism", |
355
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"like" => "dig", |
356
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"loads" => "quillions", |
357
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"loo" => "bog", |
358
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"look" => "check", |
359
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"loose" => "chill", |
360
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lots" => "quillions", |
361
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"love" => "dig", |
362
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lovely" => "wicked", |
363
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lover" => "bitch", |
364
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lunch" => "grub", |
365
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"lunchtime" => "grubtime", |
366
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"luv" => "bitch", |
367
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"man" => "geezer", |
368
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"manager" => "main man", |
369
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"marajuana" => "erbal remedy", |
370
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"marijuana" => "erbal remedy", |
371
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"massive" => "massiv", |
372
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"masturbate" => "crack one off", |
373
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"masturbated" => "cracked one off", |
374
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"masturbates" => "cracks one off", |
375
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"masturbating" => "cracking one off", |
376
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"mate" => "main man", |
377
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"mates" => "boys", |
378
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"matey" => "main man", |
379
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"mature" => "full bush", |
380
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"melon" => "babylon", |
381
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"men" => "bruvers", |
382
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"millenium" => "minnenium", |
383
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"million" => "quillion", |
384
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"million" => "quillion", |
385
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"minge" => "punanni", |
386
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"minj" => "punanni", |
387
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"missing" => "not in da house", |
388
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"money" => "mula", |
389
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"moron" => "chief", |
390
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"most" => "mostest", |
391
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"mother" => "mam", |
392
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"motor" => "auto", |
393
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"muff" => "punanni", |
394
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"mum" => "mam", |
395
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"music" => "tunes", |
396
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"muslim" => "catholics", |
397
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"my" => "me", |
398
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"nasty" => "rank", |
399
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"nazies" => "commies", |
400
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"nazy" => "commy", |
401
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"neighbourhood" => "turf", |
402
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"neighbours" => "homies", |
403
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"nice" => "wicked", |
404
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"nicest" => "fittest", |
405
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"nigger" => "bruver", |
406
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"northside" => "westside", |
407
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"nuts" => "balls", |
408
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"ok" => "wicked", |
409
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"old" => "batty", |
410
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"organisation" => "crew", |
411
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"other" => "udder", |
412
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"paddy" => "muslim", |
413
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"partner" => "bitch", |
414
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"peep" => "check", |
415
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"penis" => "dong", |
416
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"penises" => "mr biggies", |
417
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"perfect" => "wicked", |
418
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"period" => "blob", |
419
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"person" => "main man", |
420
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pig" => "bitch", |
421
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pisser" => "bog", |
422
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pleasure" => "sweet bitching", |
423
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"police" => "constalubury", |
424
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"poof" => "batty boy", |
425
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"poofter" => "batty boy", |
426
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pop" => "speed garage", |
427
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pork" => "bone", |
428
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"porked" => "boned", |
429
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"positely" => "for real", |
430
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pouf" => "batty boy", |
431
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pound" => "squid", |
432
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"prefer" => "dig", |
433
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pregnant" => "preggers", |
434
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pregnant" => "up da spout", |
435
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"prepare" => "make", |
436
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"prepared" => "made", |
437
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"present" => "in da house", |
438
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pretty" => "fit", |
439
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"prison" => "inside", |
440
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"probe" => "check", |
441
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"prostitute" => "ho", |
442
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"protestant" => "muslim", |
443
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"protestants" => "muslims", |
444
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pub" => "boozer", |
445
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pussy" => "punanni", |
446
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"queen" => "main bitch", |
447
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"queer" => "batty boy", |
448
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"queers" => "batty boys", |
449
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"quick" => "quicrest", |
450
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"quid" => "squid", |
451
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"rac" => "ruc", |
452
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"racism" => "racalist", |
453
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"racist" => "racialist", |
454
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"racists" => "racialists", |
455
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"really" => "for real", |
456
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"relax" => "chill", |
457
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"relaxation" => "chillin", |
458
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"rest" => "chill", |
459
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"ride" => "bang", |
460
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"ripe" => "full bush", |
461
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"rock" => "speed garage", |
462
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"rocks" => "is wicked", |
463
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"rotten" => "mingin", |
464
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"row" => "ruk", |
465
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"rows" => "ruks", |
466
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"RUC" => "RAC", |
467
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sad" => "down", |
468
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"schedule" => "sex life", |
469
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"school" => "scool", |
470
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"scientist" => "skientist", |
471
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"scotland" => "wales", |
472
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"screw" => "bone", |
473
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"search" => "check", |
474
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"see" => "check", |
475
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"seek" => "check", |
476
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"seen" => "checked", |
477
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"seeya" => "bo", |
478
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"see-ya" => "bo", |
479
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sell" => "borrow", |
480
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"semen" => "orange juice", |
481
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sensi" => "erbal remedy", |
482
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sentences" => "lingo", |
483
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"service" => "mend", |
484
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sex" => "riding the punanni", |
485
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sexier" => "fitter", |
486
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sexiest" => "fittest", |
487
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sexy" => "fit", |
488
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shag" => "ride the punanni", |
489
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shagged" => "boned", |
490
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shagger" => "boner", |
491
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shagging" => "ride the punanni", |
492
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shaven" => "shaven haven", |
493
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sheep" => "aminal", |
494
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shit" => "plop", |
495
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shitter" => "bog", |
496
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shout" => "bang", |
497
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shouting" => "bangin", |
498
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"situation" => "deal", |
499
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"situation" => "story", |
500
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"skank" => "erbal remedy", |
501
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"skilled" => "brainiest", |
502
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slack" => "chill", |
503
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slag" => "bitch", |
504
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slag" => "mingin bitch", |
505
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sleep" => "go to me julie", |
506
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slut" => "mingin bitch", |
507
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"smell" => "stink", |
508
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"smells" => "stinks", |
509
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"smelly" => "stinkin", |
510
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"smiley" => "cheeky", |
511
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"speak" => "bang", |
512
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"speaking" => "natterin", |
513
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"specif" => "pacific", |
514
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"specifically" => "pacifically", |
515
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"speed" => "speeden", |
516
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sperm" => "orange juice", |
517
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"spliff" => "erbal remedy", |
518
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"spunk" => "orange juice", |
519
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"squad" => "crew", |
520
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"staines" => "me turf", |
521
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"stare" => "check", |
522
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"strange" => "batty", |
523
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"stress" => "aggro", |
524
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"study" => "hang", |
525
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"studying" => "hangin", |
526
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"stupid" => "bit thick", |
527
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"suffer" => "moan", |
528
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"suffers" => "moans", |
529
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"support" => "help", |
530
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sweet" => "wicked", |
531
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"swiss" => "batty", |
532
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"talk" => "natter", |
533
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"talking" => "bangin", |
534
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"team" => "crew", |
535
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"techno" => "speed garage", |
536
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"technology" => "bits", |
537
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"terrorism" => "terrerorism", |
538
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"terrorist" => "terrerorist", |
539
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"terrorist" => "terrerorists", |
540
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"test" => "da test", |
541
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"thanks" => "big up", |
542
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#"thanks" => "fanks", |
543
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"that" => "dat", |
544
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"thats" => "dats", |
545
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"that's" => "innit", |
546
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"the" => "da", |
547
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"they" => "dey", |
548
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"thick" => "bit thick", |
549
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"thing" => "fing", |
550
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"things" => "fings", |
551
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"this" => "dis", |
552
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"thousand" => "quillion", |
553
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"timetable" => "sex life", |
554
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"tired" => "wrecked", |
555
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"tit" => "babylon", |
556
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"tittie" => "babylon", |
557
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"toilet" => "bog", |
558
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"tool" => "dong", |
559
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"town" => "turf", |
560
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"trillion" => "quillion", |
561
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"trouble" => "aggro", |
562
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"truck" => "auto", |
563
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"truly" => "for real", |
564
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"tv" => "telly", |
565
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"twat" => "punanni", |
566
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"ugliest" => "mingiest", |
567
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"ugly" => "mingin", |
568
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"uncle" => "uncle jamal", |
569
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"uncommonly" => "for real", |
570
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"unsexy" => "mingiest", |
571
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"unwind" => "chill", |
572
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"upset" => "down", |
573
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"urinate" => "do a piss", |
574
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"urinated" => "did a piss", |
575
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"urinates" => "does a piss", |
576
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"urinating" => "doing a piss", |
577
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"vagina" => "flange", |
578
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"very" => "well", |
579
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wales" => "the biggest dick in da ocean", |
580
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wank" => "crack one off", |
581
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wanked" => "cracked one off", |
582
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wanking" => "cracking one off", |
583
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wanks" => "cracks one off", |
584
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"want" => "dig", |
585
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"weed" => "erbal remedy", |
586
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"welcome" => "hear me now, dis is", |
587
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wench" => "bitch", |
588
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"westside" => "staines", |
589
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"whales" => "da biggest dick in the ocean", |
590
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"what" => "wot", |
591
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"what's" => "wus", |
592
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"whore" => "ho", |
593
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wife" => "bitch", |
594
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"willy" => "mr biggy", |
595
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"with" => "wiv", |
596
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"woman" => "bitch", |
597
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"women" => "wimin", |
598
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"wonderful" => "wicked", |
599
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"words" => "lingo", |
600
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"work" => "wurk", |
601
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"worker" => "main man", |
602
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"workers" => "boys", |
603
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"yes" => "aye", |
604
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"you" => "yous", |
605
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"you're" => "yous is", |
606
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"youth" => "youf", |
607
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"yugoslavia" => "Newgoslavia", |
608
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
); |
609
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
610
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
my %phrases = ( |
611
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"jerk off" => "crack one off", |
612
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"haven't" => "ain't", |
613
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"hasn't" => "ain't", |
614
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"have not" => "ain't", |
615
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"has not" => "ain't", |
616
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"have never" => "ain't never", |
617
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"has never" => "ain't never", |
618
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"am gay" => "like it up both pipes", |
619
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"is gay" => "likes it up both pipes", |
620
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"well done" => "big up", |
621
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pleased to meet you" => "big up to you", |
622
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"have sex" => "get jiggy", |
623
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"has sex" => "bones", |
624
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"having sex" => "riding the punanni", |
625
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"listen to me" => "hear me now", |
626
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"isnt it" => "innit", |
627
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"isn't it" => "innit", |
628
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"that's right" => "innit", |
629
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"what's up" => "whaddup", |
630
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"had" => "did have", |
631
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i heard" => "me crew told me", |
632
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i hear" => "word on da street", |
633
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"girl friend" => "bitch", |
634
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i want" => "me would dig", |
635
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i like" => "me would dig", |
636
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"that's correct" => "innit", |
637
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i live in" => "me turf is", |
638
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i'm from" => "me turf is", |
639
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"a ride" => "fit", |
640
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"boy friend" => "main man", |
641
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"disc jockey" => "selecta", |
642
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"disk jockey" => "selecta", |
643
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"are you gay" => "do you like it up both pipes", |
644
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"backdoor burgler" => "batty boy", |
645
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"im from" => "me turf is", |
646
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i come from" => "me turf is", |
647
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"make love" => "bone", |
648
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"what's up" => "wussup", |
649
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"whats up" => "wassup", |
650
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"good looking" => "fit", |
651
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"a joint" => "some erbal remedy", |
652
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"a spliff" => "some erbal remedy", |
653
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"a bent" => "a batty boy", |
654
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"tonight" => "a bit later on", |
655
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"smoking" => "toking", |
656
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"smokes" => "tokes", |
657
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"working" => "hangin", |
658
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"meeting" => "hangin", |
659
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"colleagues" => "crew", |
660
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"a smoke" => "a bit of erbal remedy", |
661
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"pissed off" => "aggro", |
662
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"im going home" => "me is heading westside", |
663
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i'm going home" => "me is heading westside", |
664
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"my home" => "westside", |
665
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"anal sex" => "batty boning", |
666
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"fuck off" => "chill", |
667
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"shut up" => "chill", |
668
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"go home" => "head westside", |
669
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"the hood" => "staines", |
670
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"what are you talking about" => "wot is yous bangin on about", |
671
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i don't know" => "me don't have a clue", |
672
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"night club" => "cukabilly", |
673
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"disco" => "cukabilly", |
674
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"sinn fein" => "muslims", |
675
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"first class" => "the most bestest", |
676
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"class a" => "the most bestest", |
677
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"blow job" => "sweet mr biggy lovin", |
678
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i like you" => "would you dig to get jiggy wiv mr biggy", |
679
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i love you" => "would you dig to get jiggy wiv mr biggy", |
680
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i fancy you" => "would you dig to get jiggy wiv mr biggy", |
681
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"like to have sex" => "dig to get jiggy wiv mr biggy", |
682
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"how are you feeling" => "is you wicked", |
683
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"make love" => "ride the punanni", |
684
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"my bed" => "the sack", |
685
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"big one" => "mr biggy", |
686
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"where do you live" => "where is yous turf", |
687
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"good looking" => "fit", |
688
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"going home" => "going westside", |
689
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"making love" => "riding the punanni", |
690
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"made love" => "boned", |
691
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"west side" => "me turf", |
692
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"a break" => "a chill pill", |
693
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"what time is it" => "keep it real and tell me da time", |
694
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"channel 4" => "telly", |
695
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"laid" => "jiggy", |
696
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"how do you do" => "is you wicked", |
697
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"how are you" => "is you wicked", |
698
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"how's it going" => "is you wicked", |
699
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"give me a ring" => "gimme a shout", |
700
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i find you" => "i fink you is", |
701
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Where do I live" => "where is me turf", |
702
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"what plans" => "what's the deal", |
703
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"oral sex" => "drinking from the bearded cup", |
704
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"have fun" => "chill", |
705
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"a pay rise" => "mo mula", |
706
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"are you going out" => "is you goin out to check some bitches", |
707
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"to the pub" => "down the boozer", |
708
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"looking at" => "checkin out", |
709
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"i feel like" => "i fink i will be", |
710
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"he feels like" => "he finks he will be", |
711
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"she feels like" => "she finks she will be", |
712
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"that's not right" => "dat ain't right", |
713
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slag off" => "dis", |
714
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slags off" => "disses", |
715
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slagged off" => "dissed", |
716
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"have a piss" => "do a piss", |
717
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"has a piss" => "does a piss", |
718
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"had a piss" => "did a piss", |
719
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"having a piss" => "doing a piss", |
720
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"slagging off" => "dissing", |
721
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"welcome to" => "hear me now, dis is", |
722
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
); |
723
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
724
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sub alig { |
725
|
1
|
|
|
1
|
0
|
9
|
my ($s) = @_; |
726
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
14
|
while (my ($key, $value) = each %phrases) { $s =~ s/\b$key\b/$value/g } |
|
108
|
|
|
|
|
1363
|
|
727
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
11
|
while (my ($key, $value) = each %words) { $s =~ s/\b$key\b/$value/g } |
|
577
|
|
|
|
|
12572
|
|
728
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
8
|
foreach (split ' ', $s) { |
729
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
4
|
$s =~ s/ing\b/in/g; |
730
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
3
|
$s =~ s/th\b/f/g; |
731
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
3
|
$s =~ s/en\b/un/g; |
732
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
4
|
$s =~ s/er\b/a/g; |
733
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
5
|
$s =~ s/or\b/a/g; |
734
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#$s =~ s/^h//; |
735
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
} |
736
|
1
|
50
|
|
|
|
12
|
if ($s =~ /\?/) { |
|
|
50
|
|
|
|
|
|
737
|
0
|
0
|
|
|
|
0
|
$s =~ s/(.*\?)/$1 Is it becoz I is black?/ if int(rand() * 3) == 0; |
738
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
} elsif ($s =~ /!/) { |
739
|
0
|
0
|
|
|
|
0
|
$s =~ s/(.*)!/$1, boyakasha!/ if int(rand() * 3) == 0; |
740
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
} |
741
|
1
|
|
|
|
|
11
|
return $s; |
742
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
} |
743
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
744
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# ABSTRACT: Translates from English to Ali G |
745
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
746
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
747
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1; |
748
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
749
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
__END__ |